"Why do white people own so many pets?
Because we’re not allowed to own people anymore.
*****
What is the scariest thing about a white person in prison?
You know he did it.
*****
how many Chicago cops does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black.”
*****
A good looking 50 year old white man is trying to get laid on reality TV. What show are you watching?
To catch a predator.
*****
Why do white girls travel in groups of three or five?
They can’t even
*****
What do you call 64 white people in a room? A full blooded Cherokee."  -

from various reddit threads

at dinner last night, a coworker was talking about hanging out with his white friends and getting fed up with the racist jokes, and asked them to tell a white people joke.  nobody had any, so he googled and found these. after a few of them, people were a lot less comfortable.

white folks, next time you hear a racist joke, maybe lead with one of these in response.  tag this “I’m white” when you reblog it, if you are.

(via cuterpillar)

(Source: transascendant, via awkward-alvy)

sassykardashian:

Fred: Okay team let’s split up

Me: *worries for the wellbeing of shaggy and scooby*

(via aestheteanima)

me (dating a girl named liz and also taking a delicious lasagna out of the oven): hey anyone want some liz on ya? well you can't, she's mine. hahahaha. okay liz you can go home now I only dated you to make that joke


379445


27946
"Bob and Sara and the children stayed at my house while he was doin’ that album, and he asked me to be guest on it - well, as it turned out we were in the studio and just… they turned on the recorder for about two hours…"  - Johnny Cash, about Nashville Skyline recording sessions (via song-and-dance-man)

(via istartedoutonburgundy)



9652
cultmovie:

During a convention interview, star Glenn Howerton was asked why his character was named Dennis, whereas Charlie Day and Rob McElhenney's characters are named after themselves. Howerton responded by saying that he wanted to distance himself from his character as much as fucking possible.
+